ok i know i'm being all weird over nothing, but i have my concerts today and yesterday. we weren't in the whole of the second half so L, O and i just hung out outside. i got a kiss (well 4) on the top of the head because i got upset. i only got upset because he and L asked to see my hip. L didn't like it, obviously, and neither did O.

O has greeny bluey eyes, i notice things like that. besides, it's kind of hard not to when you're looking someone in the eye and asking them not to be angry with you. he asked me to stop, but i can't.

now i'm starting to feel bad because of the whole him and T situation. he snogged her and yet i was cheered up but a mwah on the top of my head, the same as L got. he knows i like him too, which is rather suckish.

we probably looked really weird sitting outside though. he sat down on the concrete step, but i didn't want to sit on it because i know it'd be cold, so i sat on him. then L didn't want to sit on me because she thought she'd squish me so i got up and she sat on him with me on her. he then put his arms around the both of us. and now i'm realising how pathetic i'm probably sounding, but this is my journal so why the hell not.

he almost put his hand up L's top, but didn't obviously, and i put my hands down the back of his t-shirt because they were cold. he has a warm back.

but yeah, the other day i'd been bugging myself about how i didn't know what colour his eyes were, but now i know - a greeny bluey colour.

i'm starting to feel a bit guilty now though. L just told me she was starting to feel left out, but i didn't notice anything we did where she wasn't in the middle. i can't remember any situation where she was, but then again i nearly always feel left out, it doesn't mean people are leaving me out.

on the phone to my dad. apparently i was a 'happy little sandbag' last night. well he's right if being a 'happy little sandbag' constitutes to miserable and wanting to cut. only he didn't notice last night because i was upset at about 11 o'clock and he thought i was asleep.

anyway... i should probably go so night people


'...but i'm stuck in this fucking rut,
waiting on a second hand pick me up,
and i'm over, getting old...'

- weightless by all time low